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Wednesday, November 09, 2005 

Another modest proposal

These first five years of the twenty-first century have been plagued by acts of open war upon science and intelligence in general. This began with the election of our current charlatan-in-cheif, and has progressed through such measures as the Clear Skies Act, and a general culture of ignorance regarding the environment in general and global warming in specific. The penultimate entry in this log is that of Intelligent Design Theory, which claims Evolution as a fallacy because it hasn't been proven as an absolute, despite the fact that the model has worked whenever tested. This is getting to be batshit insane.

It has been said that schools and libraries are the last bastions of democracy. That this culture of ignorance has successfully infiltrated the former ought to be a call to arms. The gloves are off. The Rules of Engagement have changed. We must either destroy this infection or cauterize it immedeately.

Let's start with cautery. It would involve extracting the intelligent people from those states that have approved the "theory" for teaching in science classes, and moving them into more sensible states. However, there would be an issue of living conditions. To make the plan feasible, the "idiotic minority" of the states that haven't approved Intelligent Design would have to be forcibly extracted and moved into the states that have to make room. This could be tricky. In Massachusetts, for example, the idiots are entrenched. They have their own newspaper, their own radio stations, and their own governor. Moving them would require a vast paramilitary operation that, quite frankly, we don't have at our disposal at this time. That having been said, this plan should be filed away for future use.

The solution lies, therefore, in covert ops.

The plan is thus: Commision an independent development studio to create a video game in which the player brutally murders the biblethumpers incumbent in their local school boards (It is of course common knowledge that violent videogames train kids to commit actual acts of murder) . When the students find the games under their Christmas tree, the wheels shall turn, and victory shall fall into the hands of the mentally competent

You could have a good shot with this. Or you could come up with a not so public plan to remove the idiots from Mass and blame it on the video game. I love gaming and I hate to think some people are weak minded enough to take it that seriously, but I agree with you totally. I don't think America's youth are known for having a strong mind. Good post

Libraries and schools as the last safe haven for brain cell usage - that must be why they're are funded so well. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go drownd my sorrows in a cup of Anger Tea.

I've always been more a fan of Anger Whiskey myself

" We must either destroy this infection or cauterize it immedeately." Here...here...

Pure genius, I tell you! You have a great brain wombat!

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