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Saturday, December 17, 2005 

Stalkers and Talkers and Midnight Balkers

Shear craziness in the middle of finals for no other reason than no one else has written anything here for some time. Do you people really think I have time for this? I am after all a busy woman, with the entire city to enthrall me and a stack of books and papers to go through. I’m slightly foul of temper too as fifty-percent, if not more, of the people I speak to at other colleges are out……………the rest will be out by Tuesday and I am stuck until Thursday. What is that about anyway?

I believe that it is best for me to take a stand on what is often perceived as internet stalking. It matters not that the invasion of privacy that occurs in these cases may be just that and not a physical threat. What matters is the perception there of.

In other words, when you read someone’s blog and decide to find out other information about that person, even if it is “just for the sake of curiosity” you become a creepy stalker. Indeed you may not be a “real” stalker but who is to know that for a fact.

In blog land you can be sure there are limits as to how far people want to go, how much information they want to divulge. You need to respect the unnatural boundaries, except what is given and expect no more.

It’s similar to a love affair…...it is just an affair; it is not a marriage. Enjoy what it gives you but do not try to take it further. It is not meant to be what it isn’t and it is selfish of you to try to take it to the place it was not meant to go.

That is one of the only clear and logical points I have heard about stalking. That's intersting because ususally I am only left confused by your posts Alice-thanks for being so clear and to the point this time. I honestly appreciate your insight.

seriously! blogstalking is definitely becoming a problem today. we should formulate a code of blogging ethics...or something. or maybe everyone should just put all of their personal information on the web so nothing is "personal" anymore. hmmm, i'll think about this, and get back to whomever

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There are certain limits to blogging... but you live and learn. Although, some people just can't get past it and continue to step over those limits.

When you step into someone's personal space, even if your intentions seem to you to be innocent, you need to look at how the other person will persceive your intentions.

To want to be a "friend" or more with another fellow blogger is your own business... make sure that other blogger feels the same. If that blogger lets you know to stay the hell away... don't continue to email, comment and then get your friends to email and comment when the response you get is not one you like...

oops "perceive"

Shit, that sucks.

Oh now Alice, I promised not to do that anymore after you got the restraining order. Really I'll be better.

Bullshit. If you're going to put yourself out there you should do it wholly. The secrecy and mystery is what drives people to try to find out a little more about you. If you laid out who you were, clearly and simply, no one would give a shit. Maybe that's why many bloggers like the anonymity? Or do you all really have such an inflated sense of self-worth that you believe that anyone would ever want to spend their time trying to get at you? Bullshit. In the vast majority of cases stalking is purely in the imagination of an terrorised and television-fed fool. The terrifying truth is: no one is out to get you, no one cares.

I sometimes with my blog how the osmeone would feel if they came across their photo there. Many of the pictures were probably unintentionally shared. I use kazaa-lite and see often people sharing word files, personal stuff, that they couldn't have intended to. Sometimes I send a message warning them, but sometimes the messages don't go through. Then I try to stalk out an e-mail address to warn them that way.

I'd been toying with the idea for something like my blog for almost a year before, but hesitated for the reasons I just mentioned. Then I saw that site 10eastern.com with their found photos gallery, which had been enthusiastically received, and written up in the New York Times, etc. Still, it is a gray area.

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